


As you wish

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Princess Bride (1987)
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, Fire Swamp (Princess Bride), Gay John Laurens, Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, Inspired by Princess Bride, Multi, Sad with a Happy Ending, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-11 04:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16468727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Me? Making a Hamilton Princess Bride au?It's more likely than you think.





	1. I Shall Never Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> This entire work is the child of me, sleep deprivation, a Tumblr post I once witnessed, and too much free time.
> 
> Characters as follows:  
> Buttercup: Alexander Hamilton  
> Westley: John Laurens  
> Humperdink: King George III  
> Count Rugen: Samuel Seabury  
> Vizzini: Charles Lee  
> Inigo Montoya: Lafayette  
> Fezzik: Hercules Mulligan 
> 
> Characters who aren't mentioned here will be specified later.
> 
> Excuse any typos, grammatical errors, or inaccuracies. I am also going completely off of the Princess Bride script, so I credit that to it's original creators. I did not make this fanfic for money, only for sheer enjoyment.

In a far away land, America, long ago, lived a boy named Alexander. He was, quite frankly, beautiful. With freckles that dotted his face and sapphire blue eyes, his mane of tangled, red hair that always seemed to curl around his neck and cheeks. He was beautiful, in a sense. But he didn't bother much with clothing or hair. He lived in a small village and his favorite activity was to wake at dawn and right horseback for miles. He also enjoyed ordering the farm boy in his village, who worked in the stables, around. Hardly anything made him happier then talking to the boy.

"Farm Boy?" Asked Alexander, riding into the stables and hoping off his horse, Lotte, he addressed the farm hand in a wavering voice, "Polish my sattle, will you? I want to see my face shining in it by morning."

"As you wish." Came the voice of the farm boy, as he looked Alexander up and down

The farm boy's name was John Laurens, though Alexander hardly ever called him that. Why? Alexander was too nervous. There was something about John that made Alexander's heart flutter and the nerves in his body tingle. Alexander asked John many things, requested much from him. Just to hear John say 'As you wish'.

It took some time for Alexander to realise that when John was saying 'As you wish', what he was really saying was 'I love you'. It was even more of a surprise when Alexander realised he truly loved him back.

There was nothing special about the day the two kissed.

Alexander had asked John to fetch him a pitcher and, instead of responding with his usual 'As you wish', John merely kissed Alexander's lips and handed him the pitcher. There was nothing truly erotic about the kiss. A few seconds long, John's lips resting upon Alexander's pink ones. Alexander's chest ached and, for a moment, he forgot to breath. His arms clutching the pitcher to his chest, his hands, lightly covered in calluses, trembled.

"I love you, John." Alexander spoke to no one.

However, John's pay in their small village wasn't satisfying the needs of his landlord. So, he gathered his things up and alerted Alexander that he would be setting out to sea to find better pay somewhere else. But he vowed to send letters, if he could find the money for a carrier and paper.

"When will I ever see you again?" Alexander hugged John, his face in the taller man's blonde hair.

"Do not fret, I will return once I make my fortune abroad. I will come back for you." John kissed him once more and bade him farwell.

When Alexander received the letter, detailing how John Laurens had died at the hands of the Dread Pirate Simcoe, he locked himself away in his home. He did not sleep, nor eat. The innocence of his first love, taken from him. Stolen away. He could only weep for his lost love and proclaim in a voice devoid of many emotion, "I shall never love again."

...

Unfortunately, soon thereafter, Prince George the Third came of age and prepared to wed someone in his kingdom, or in his colonies. Of course, the person he would wed would have no say in the matter at all, as George was royalty. And, why would a person reject him? You would live within luxury your whole life.

Alexander was unfortunate enough to be selected to marry the Prince, and with the grief of John still fresh in his heart. He tried to resist, but there was no use. When the Prince wanted something, he got it.

The Prince came to his people in America, not long before his scheduled wedding and addressed them from his castle balcony. His parents, an elderly couple in impressive attire, we're standing by his sides. But, in front of them, to George's right, Samuel Seabury, the Prince's right-hand man, stood.

The crowd below, in the courtyard, shuttering and murmured as they stared up at their monarch, waiting for orders. It was a crowd bigger than ever before. George raised his hand to silence the people below and the chattering ceased.

"My people! A month from now, my great country of Britain will have it's 500th anniversary! On that night, I will wed a young man who was once a commoner like yourselves," George paused, then in a booming voice, "But, trust me, once you meet him, you will not find him common now. Would you like to meet him?"

A loud, thunderous, booming _'YES!'_ rose up from the crowd.

"Then I give you, Prince...Alexander!"

From a doorway in one of the courtyard walls, emerged Alexander, his skin oddly pale and his face emotionless. He walked out amongst the people. A large crown had been placed on his head and his thin body was clothed in white robes. Suddenly, the waves of people in the courtyard bowed into their knees, their heads dropping in honor of their new prince. Alexander stood immobile amongst them, tears threatening at the corners of his eyes. Alexander awkwardly looked amongst them, then up to George.

Though the law of land ordered him to marry George, Alexander did not love him. No one could fill the overcoming emptiness in him.

...

Alexander could not escape George but, every so often, he was allowed an hour to himself, which he spent riding horseback through forests and fields. Though he was forbidden to travel far from the castle, he did enjoy his time alone. He briskly rode across a forest, alone and secluded, guiding his horse with ease through the speckled trees. His scarlet robes stood out amongst the greenery.

"Excuse me, Sir?"

Alexander abruptly stopped his horse, seeing three men in front of his horse.

The one who had spoken was short and thin, with thick gray hair combed to one side and a flashy vest on. His face was soft, his eyes dark and cunning, yet, he seemed quite trustworthy.

The second was an obvious Frenchman. Alexander could tell from the posture and clothing that his native home was of France. His curly, wavy, brown hair cascaded down to his shoulders. The beginnings of stubble across his cheeks. His skin was dark, tanned most likely from the French sun, which was known for its exceptional heat. He stood talk and erect as the sword by his side.

The last man was tall, sturdy, obviously a giant from his towering height. He was nearly a foot taller than the Frenchman. He, however, had the kindest and most genuinely gentle eyes Alexander had ever seen. His hands were worn and huge, yet he fiddled with them as if he was a lost schoolgirl.

"Your highness," Said the first man, "We are but poor, lost circus performers...is there a village nearby?"

"No," Alexander answered truthfully, "There isn't one for miles 'round."

"Good. Then no one will be able to hear you scream. Hercules?"

The giant came up to Alexander, put a hand on the young man's neck and, before Alexander could even gasp, squeezed a nerve cluster. Alexander, unconscious, slumped against the giant.


	2. Only Compared To Some

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, excuse any grammatical errors or inaccuracies

The ripping of fabric.

Charles Lee, the short, gray-haired man tore at a French coat, ripping the uniform under his hands. His tongue stuck out slightly. It was dusk and the shadows were long fingers stretched across the lake. Hercules gently carried an unconscious Alexander to their boat.

"What's that you're tearing?" Asked Lafayette, the tall, swordfighting Frenchman as he untied the sails to their boat.

"A uniform from a soldier in Quebec." Came Lee's brisk reply.

"Quebec?" Hercules inquired.

"The city in Canada! Owned by the French, the sworn enemy of Britain. You know, where this pervert is from." Lee glared at Lafayette, and received an equally sharp glare, "Honestly, Hercules, use your brain. Oh, yeah, Irish don't have them, do they?"

"What do we even need the horse or the coat?" Asked Hercules in a soft voice, turned timid by Lee's insults, "A waste of a coat, I say.'

Lee slapped the horse's rump, sending the horse running, the piece of fabric billowing behind it like a coat. Then, he climbed into the boat.

"Makes it look as if a French soldier took Prince Georgie's love. We ride the river up to Quebec. When Old Georgie sends out his soldiers to find the prince and finds him out on French land, dead, his suspicious will be confirmed. Viola. We have a nice, little war. We join. We win. We part ways and enjoy our plunders and I never have to look at you faggots again."

"You never said anything about killing anyone," Hercules mumbled, "Only to harm or seriously injure."

"I hired you two to help me start a war, not tell me what's right or wrong morally."

"I just think it's wrong. Killing a young, innocent lad." Hercules looked over to Alexander in sympathy.

"Am I going mad?" Lee hissed, "Or did the word _think_ escape your lips. I did NOT hire you for your brains! I remember when I found you. Remember this, never forget this! Brainless, friendless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back where you were? _Unemployed_ in Ireland?"

"I agree with Hercules." Lafayette said, climbing onto the boat.

" _Of course you do_." Lee sheered, "Because you two faggots are doing it in your cabins. And you, French pervert, when I found you, you were slobbering and too drunk to even buy more brandy. Going on about a six-fingered man. You were mad, but I took you in and fed you and clothed you like you were my own son! And this is how you repay me, you backstabbing, blundering idiot."

Hercules' head drooped, his gaze locking onto his shoes. Lee often subjected his teammates to the brutality of his tongue, which was a sharper weapon than anything Lafayette had hanging by his side. Lafayette typically shrugged the sharp insults off, as he held himself and Hercules in a higher light than Lee, who he viewed as a coward. But, Hercules, despite his size and power, bruised so easily. He rested a hand on Hercules' shoulder.

"That Charles Lee," Said Lafayette, "He can fuss."

"I think he likes to scream at us at us." Hercules finished the rhyme with a smile, resting a huge hand on his French friend's shoulder.

"Probably he means no harm."

"He's really very short on charm." Hercules whispered with a smile.

"Oh, you've a great gift for rhyme." Lafayette said proudly.

"Yes...some of the time."

...

Their boat briskly glided across the dark waters, moonlight occasionally reflecting off of the dark river in strips of silver. Alexander had awoken and Hercules gave him a woolen cloak to warm him in the cold of the night. Hercules was offering Alexander some bread, but the young man refused to eat. Lafayette was at the hem, glancing back over his shoulder.

"Stop doing that." Lee muttered, annoyed, "We'll reach the cliffs by dawn. We're completely safe."

Lafayette nodded, not looking away from the inky waters.

"Despite what you think," Alexander spoke weakly, "You will be caught. And hanged."

"Out of all the necks on board, you should be worrying about yours, highness. " Lee threatened

"Are you sure no one is following us?" Lafayette asked.

"Of course I am. It would be absolutely, totally, and, in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Quebec knows what we've done and no one from the castle could be gotten here so fast." Lee said, assured, "Outta curiosity, why do you ask?"

"Oh, I just happened to look behind us and something is there."

Lee jumped up from his resting spot and ran to the hem, followed quickly by Hercules.

"It's probably just a fisherman going out for a pleasure cruise...." Lee mumbled with as much logic as he could muster, "At night. Through eel infested waters..."

Suddenly, a splashing was heard behind them and they whipped around to see Alexander swimming through the water, drawing huge ripples behind him.

"Go get him!" Lee shrieked to Lafayette.

"I can't swim." Lafayette shrugged.

"I only dogpaddle." Hercules said sadly to the unasked question.

"Gah!" Lee looked over the edge of the boat, then to his teammates, "Go get the sails! Veer left, left!"

Alexander swam as fast as he could, and then, heard a not-so-far-away shrieking sounds from under the water. He paused, swimming in place as he felt a sleek, slim body run against his thigh. He jumped and started to swim further away.

"You know what that is, highness?" Lee asked with a smirk, followed by high-pitched shrieking from the water, "Those are the shrieking eels! And they always get louder when they're about to feed on human flesh!"

The shrieking increasingly grew louder as more dark, serpent-like bodies glided through the water past him.

"I'll tell you what," Said Lee smugly, "If you come back to the boat, I promise you, no harm will come to you. I doubt you'll get such an offer from the eels."

Alexander attempted to swim to the boat when a slick, dark eel's head rose up from the waves, mouth wide open and drooling. Alexander kicked it away, the eel shrieking, as a big hand closed on his collar and lifted him up from the water. Hercules gently sat Alexander down onto the dry boat. Lafayette brought Alexander a towel.

"I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?" Lee asked darkly.

"Only compared to some, "Alexander replied, holding his chin high.

Lafayette glanced with concern back across the dark waters, "He's gaining on us." He gestured towards the ship.

"He's no concern of ours, sot, sail on!" Lee spat


End file.
